Monday, March 29, 2010

Epiphany moment at two am...

Ah HA! Shaa-zzam! The truth has revealed itself to me at last. Too bad the truth has simply no respect at all for a poor, tired body needing sleep! Thats right, oh yeah. I had yet another "epiphany moment" at two am. Frankly, I have to say there could (and really should), be a better time for the shining light of wisdom to dawn upon this thick marble head but so far, no....not happening.

Nature must think (in it's infinite wisdom), that somehow I might not be paying enough attention during the day. Or perhaps maybe, I wont be able to handle the burst of wise truth during normal business hours. It does'nt really matter what brought it on. The subject matter choices have been many and myriad over the years and without fail, that wrenching, 'lightning stroke' of brilliance always seems to happen when I should sleeping like a babe in arms, one who is dead to the world or at the very least one that would appear to the average layperson to be in a semi-comatose state of rest.

See, I think. Yep, I do it all the time...Its another one of those things I DO. Its sort of like a J.O.B. (job) since I started writing. One cannot write without having things to write ABOUT. And yes, this is a requirement of the job. Theres no sidestepping it. No pawning it off on a pimple faced underling or letting it sit in some dusty, forsaken inbox somewhere until the boss notices. Nope, to write (even fairly well), you have to think about subjects, then endure even more weird off-shoot thoughts, then consider feelings and their results and the list goes on and on...yada, yada yada. Sorry aspiring writers, yeah, that part came as a bit of a shock to me too....

That having been said, I have to tell you again, I do this thinking 'stuff' pretty much all the time. Yup, every waking moment. Some of it just happens, some of it I actually designate a special time and a place to do. The walk time on the treadmill is really a preferred spot. Somehow my mind limbers up and moves more easily through and across even the darkest, stickiest and most viscus of subjects when my body is in motion too. Another highly valued spot I've got to do the bullwork in is deep inside my comfortable, slightly overstuffed chair (although the cat might argueably say it's his), which sits in front of my computer. I get 'rifle-fire-quick rounds of thoughts and determinations there for some reason. Hmm...I suppose I've got twitter to thank for that painless course in speed thinking...heh heh...But hey, 'thanks' really! I mean, who knew?

So now I've said it, I do believe its now been clearly stated, outright and plain as day. I THINK! Oh yes, I do....I say it here and declare it to the whole world at large, to the entire universe and to any nooks and crannies of places that may exist beyond. Are you listening Mother Nature? You cruel, mind bending, epiphany rending, intelligence wi-fi sending wench you....AND let me also state, I can be best be reached between the hours of 9 am and 5 pm, month in and month out, seven days a week....

Thanks for reading. Oh, until we meet again....At the tone, please leave your name and number, I'll get back to you, hopefully between 9 and 5.....

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Of Womanly Wiles and Feminine Ways...

Oh my, YES it has happened yet again. Silly me, I have once again been the hapless victim of another woman (and I use that term 'woman' loosely). One who uses her wiles to hook, snare or otherwise 'catch' a man. I say I was a victim again because obviously I was only good enough to bother with right up until she successfully captured the attentions of my male friend. Once her objective had been achieved my purpose in her life had apparently been served and now she does not bother with me. hmm...mission accomplished!
Oddly, I dont feel at all badly for myself. Heh, heh, No indeed! Far from it.... I would rather be shed of the type of woman who does such things that than be associated with such ungracious and dishonerable types, be they woman or man alike. I have seen this special female 'skill' being used all my life and no doubt this (disgraceful, duplicitous female behaviour) will continue to be used long after I have passed away and turned to dust.
I have seen it done FAR better mind you, than this latest episode....For I had the very good blessing to grow up watching a true 'Master' of the feminine wiles. You see I was born a people watcher, Its my favorite sport and all other sports come a wan, pale second to surveying the entertaining antics of humans.
I had seen it done by a master indeed and I have also seen the results of the use of these feminine wiles, they are never pretty! Why is it that women who use these tactics are SO suprised to find that they have 'caught' a stupid, male egotist on the end of their hook? Why also is it, that they are never happy to have that foolish man once they have finally got him right where they want him? Seems to me that if you go fishing for an egotist dim enough to be caught using the bait specific to that type of 'fish' you shouldnt be surprised when all your casts of duplicity eventually wind up with that brand wriggling on the banks of love and simply thrilled to be yours! heh, yep, yours and yours alone girlies...Alas, sadly those man fishies wont stay 'hooked and caught for long, you see for those type of men, there is always another prettier, younger, more gently tittering and sparklie hook just dangling in the corner of that male fishie field of vision.
As you can tell, I dont employ such measures myself, I am the odd kind of woman who finds the use of such easy tricks distasteful, hurtful and and pretty much an outright waste of everyones time. I also enjoy the TRUE skill required to make friends by JUST being myself. I find comfort in knowing if and when we ever arrive at the stage when our social masks are removed and we must face each other without any concealment of veils, trickery, or through smoke and mirrors the person who looks at me will see exactly what they have always seen...and if we've gotten that far, its highly likely that the person I'll see looking back will be very intelligent, somewhat funny and have quiet a bit more than their ego driving them through life.
Indeed, the upshot of this whole thing is, those female fishers, those womanly 'weavers of wiles' and users of girlie guile deserve exactly what they catch. I'll happily take the wiser, more realistic and (very likely) genetically superior male left overs...Thank you very much! :)
Ladies, try to keep your 'worm' on the hook and your waders dry....Heh, heh..till we meet again.